I was afraid if a guy found out that I was dating someone else, he would drop me.
When I was smitten with a new man (fantasizing that he liked me as much as I liked him) I immediately declined date invitations from other men.
That rarely worked out for me; he would sense my relationship agenda and he would stop calling me.
If I casually (accidently) slept with a man, I felt morally obligated to cut myself off from other guys.
But equally, keeping your options open is about being non-commital and this is the mainstay of being emotionally unavailable and creating limited experiences that keep you ‘safe’ in a self-fulfilling prophecy bubble. Feeling like you have choices may convince you that you have more choices than you have and trap you indecision!
Making a decision about a guy is no different than any other decision.
You weigh your pros and cons, you do your cost-benefit analysis, you use a little logic and a little emotion, and then make a largely arbitrary choice without knowing if you’re right.
It always felt like starting all over and was always painful.
Once I even continued to date a girl just to avoid “starting over”.I threw all my eggs into his basket and we dated until he unexplainly disappeared into the night.